I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
There's always time for handjobs
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
