Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
