On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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