do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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