is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Ladies don't puke and tell
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
