When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize