Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize