Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
