I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
