like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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