I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
