I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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