don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
