The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
