Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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