I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
