D3 body, D1 cock
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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