Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
