Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
