It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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