just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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