i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
