so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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