Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
