Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
So apparently I’m into choking now
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
