Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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