Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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