Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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