somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
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