so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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