Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
