Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
