i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
