I heard we made out
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
