DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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