so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
His hands were made for my vagina.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
