Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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