Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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