My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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