i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
