Already got asked if we're dating
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
