The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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