Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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