ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
