This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
