Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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