I want to stick my p in your. b.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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