Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
