apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
not ubering you a puppy
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
