Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
