Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
