we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
