is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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