I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
