you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
