HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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