anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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