and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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