we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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