Umm I'm too high to move.
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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