i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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