Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
