I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
