How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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