I feel like I'm in dance class right now
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Enjoy the penises
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize