did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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