My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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