Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
