im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
