I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
